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Still Kicking

by Still Kicking

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1.
Do you remember a time when you were loved Warm breeze on a summer day Grass between my toes Sentiments as strong as the sun I hate what I've become Who have I to love Tell me I mean everything Tell me I'm your everything I wish that I was more
2.
I'm gonna keep trying But it's gonna mean lying to myself a little bit Maybe I should try harder in the winter To stay warmer in the absence of light Maybe next year you'll find me On the playground in the park in our hometown You know that I still think of you always I'm always gonna wish you were around I wanna go driving I wanna watch all the trees blur With the windows down while the smoke fills my lungs You're always gonna be the one to take me home Maybe next year you'll find me In the backyard of your best friend's house You know that I still look for you always We can get drunk and fool around I feel as though I came here in search of something that will explain me to myself Though I fear the search will be tireless for I am not who I was before I must embrace who I am now, and who I have become And who I am becoming
3.
Your Diary 03:17
Undress everything you didn't like Like black coffee and wine I'm still scared to love and I don't know why Tell me all the things I didn't know The plot line of your favourite show I've seen it all but I'll pretend that I don't know Reminisce on the fondness of early days Nostalgia in the summer haze Three years is a long time to feel this way I would sit forever in the grass Just praying that this would last I spend too much time thinking about the past There are a million ways to feel alone, do you think you know them all What about lying on the couch in your parent's house, or finding my socks in your drawer You've got wild eyes of the worst disguise and I thought I'd get away by now Thought I'd be ready by now, but there's the same photos on my wall Who's more alone, I bought you flowers for your grave How do you lose something when there's nothing left to save Where did I go wrong
4.
I sleep on your side of the bed now so I don't have to see it empty When you write a song it's gonna sting with remembrance much like this I wish I could call you and tell you I love you, I wish I could call you all the time Feels like I'm losing a part of myself, something I'm leaving behind I always thought I was worse in the winter, but I guess now the summer hurts too I folded your things and I placed them on the top shelf, "out of sight out of mind" is a phrase that always means well I hope that when the sun comes in your room you think of me Tiny squares of light multiplied a hundred times til you find what you need There's so much I wanna say about you, Your soft skin and the sound of your voice Your radiance is contagious, everything that you are and all you hope to become I hope that when the sun comes in your room you think of me Tiny squares of light multiplied a hundred times til you find what you need
5.
Deception 04:21
Thought I was right about you but I should've known all along Thought that I could handle it, but I guess I was wrong Should've seen straight through that you were not what you were Never everyday of my life is all just a single blur If you thought I hated you then well, guess how I feel now Even leaving this place you still come around As the form of thoughts in my head, questioning every word I ever said My skin crawls every time I hear your name
6.
I keep remembering the way it felt To walk down the street with you at night Maybe if I hold my own hand, it'll make it feel like yours Maybe if I hold my own hand, we'll go back to the way we were The way you would look at me from across the room Of all the hands, yours was my favourite I ever shook Even miles away, you'll never be rid of me And so what if I don't let go He leaned in to kiss me and I said we could stay in the middle Our last day was perfect, but there's no way I deserve you Here are ideas and I hope you miss me too We both know what we want, but waiting and wondering is killing me When he asked me to stay, I said yes, and he walked me home You're still my forever, but what if I'm not yours I'm not lonely, I'm just bored
7.
Leaving 02:33
I thought I heard you say my name Whispered in my sleep something next to me Your words keep haunting everything I wish I never let you into my bed
8.
Staying 03:43
I'd ask where I'm going but I lost my head Somewhere I don't have a map to, in something that you said I'm slowly learning that I kissed too many to count Where are they now cuz I'm all by myself Show me how you self destruct and I'll show you all the ways I hurt myself and We're not as different as you think We both bleed when no one's watching Maybe I'm the reason why everyone leaves Something deep inside myself and I don't have the key Still trying to figure you out But I don't ever know myself Show me how you self destruct and I'll show you all the ways I hurt myself and We're not as different as you think We both bleed when no one's watching
9.
I bet you still look the same I can't help but smile every time we play this game It's not often that I see you Too be honest I don't need to I spent two whole years in the dark I spent two whole years trying not to fall apart Would you tell me now that you loved me Would you say it to me now I don't love you anymore But my god, sometimes I wish I still did The past is always so much sweeter When it's fallen completely from your grasp I spent two whole years in the dark I spent two whole years trying not to fall apart Would you tell me now that you loved me Would you say it to me now And when I whisper to you in the night The words, they don't stick They drift through the open window And I'm left thinking of you more I spent two whole years in the dark I spent two whole years trying not to fall apart Would you tell me now that you loved me Would you admit it to me now that you once loved me

credits

released June 20, 2022

Kaitlyn Daley - Guitar, Vocals
Megan Miller - Drums, Backing Vocals, Vibraphone, Piano
Sasha McElcheran - Bass, Backing Vocals

Recorded by Steve Newton
Mixed by Nicolas Gaudreault
Mastered by Evan Tighe

Album cover by Olivia du Vergier

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Still Kicking Montreal, Québec

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